tell me this isn't real.
lalalalalalala.
my mind is FILLED with BLABLAS right now, and so i'm making this blog as succinct as i can.
SPACE for rent!
let's just put it this way,
i'll just be here whether YOU NEED me or NOT,
because i hold on to what i have said and what i'll still be saying
" i just wanna be with you,... even if we're miles apart.."
so are you confused?
now we BOTH feel the same way.
if you're having breakdowns because of what happened few minutes ago,
then i'm having the irony of what you feel.
YOU'RE GIVING ME REASONS TO LOVE TOMORROW and of course, like what i have said many times this day, i'd live tomorrow to the FULLEST. full blast..
let's just see what the future's gonna do with us.
but for sure, this isn't fantasy.
TOODLES.
RAWR,
inalei
Thursday, February 4, 2010
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
almost there.
i'm ABOUT to give up.
ABOUT but still NOT THERE.
why? what are you waiting for?
do you want me to be torn down pieces to pieces first before you'd TRY to talk to me and patch things up?
i miss you. i KNOW. you'd laugh at me like you're disgusted or what,
but SERIOUSLY, i AM SERIOUS.
sometimes, it's a pain when not-so-serious people TRY to be SERIOUS because everyone won't be believing you anymore.
and now, i'm left with no choice.
FACING things by myself, trying not to speak too much. ABSORBING the pain.
but why?
all i ever wanted was to BE WITH YOU. YOU, YOU, YOU.
all i ever wanted was to BE WITH YOU. YOU, YOU, YOU.
is it that HARD to be with me? am i that HARD to be with? haaaay. :((
i miss you. SUPERRR.
i have been FREQUENTLY glancing at the calendar trying to compute how much time is left for me. i KNOW.
life will NEVER be the same AGAIN, that's a fact.
remember when you told me i'll find someone else LIKE YOU in the future?
and i still say what i said that time:
there's no one else LIKE YOU.
NO ONE. take note of that.
haaaay.
TOODLES.
inalei
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
BURSTING!
whoa. i can't take this anymore.
tell me this is just a NIGHTMARE and that i can STILL WAKE UP.
tell me this is just a NIGHTMARE and that i can STILL WAKE UP.
wake me up. wake me up.
i never thought i'd ever feel this way all OVER again.
why do those folks have to be so UNDERSTANDING to stab me over and over again?
will it make them happier?
wooowww. then their happiness lies on my sorrows. that's KEWL.
haaaay. now i'm suffering this.
a newborn RAGE that will get to its limits and spreadout!
i ain't perfect and i ain't TRYING to be ONE.
it's over.
you're pushing me to the dumps.
call me insane or what, it doesn't matter any longer.
they got me through my veins already.
they repeated history. they made the past a present i can't escape and somehow they are blocking my FUTURE. oooh. PATHETIC.
tsk.tsk.
new ERA of ANATHEMA!
FRUMPS! YOU are still who you are, it's DUMB.
geeeez, can't you stop? or is it what you are born for?
STOP SNOOPING OUT.
hmmp!??? PUH-LEASE.
let me SMILE once in a while.
stop invading my WORLD without of course, permission.
tsktsk. SHOOT.
inalei
I don’t care how numb I have been because numb as I may be; I had you as my friend, a friend I treasure most.
I am trying to make every millisecond as valuable as possible. I know by the end of this week, something is going to happen and I dunno whether it will surprise me or perhaps change the way the things are supposed to be.
Today, I have enjoyed things. After knowing my NCAE results telling me I’m more inclined to INVESTIGATIVE and ARTISTIC interests, I realized I am on the right track towards deciding the right course for me, the problem left now is on which school shall I entrust my learning ability and capacity and prepare myself for the battle that awaits after earning my degree.
Like, WOW. I really am going to college. And yea, it seems now that I was facing this direction way back my elementary years and as I turned around, I am now confronting a different world, world of maturity and saying byebyes to baby cries. Lol. Before, I wasn’t THAT bothered about my college life because I was thinking that I still have longer time to think about it, yet now, only a month is left and then I’d say HELLO UNIVERSITY LIFE. HELLO CITY LIFE. HELLO OLDER ME. HELLO INDEPENDENT ME. HAHAHA. =))
I knoooooow. It will take me time to really get used to it, but if you’d ask me now what I really want to do when I’m going to be few years older from now, that is to GO ABROAD- LIVE THERE with my mom and sister. Haha. And of course, I will HELP my cousins earn their degree too on prestigious schools.
Owwwww. What a NICE GOAL. I know. I must work hard to walk on the staircase and grab that success God has prepared for me. (Thanks a lot Lord!) and oh well, I won’t STOP writing and scribbling like blablabla and that even if people don’t ACTUALLY care what are the things that bother me at any point of my life, I would just like to have it published either on my own notes or online and then rereading it and eventually LAUGH on the things I have done and felt in a HYPERBOLIC way. ROFL.
Anyways, I haven’t really encountered too MUCH for this day, except that when I tried counting the days left for me before the DUE, I still landed on the same span. Like last week I was saying I only have 1 month and 18 days left, when I counted again few days after I still have 1 month and 18 days left and when I counted again how many days are there before the takeoff earlier this day, I still landed on the same span- 1 MONTH and 18 DAYS left.
Like oooh-ahh! HAHAHA. But of course, I super KNOW how to count. LOL.
And now I am on this point again, thinking about bringing and fixing things back before the week winds. As I have said, something not so good is going to happen and I am buckling myself on my seat to whatever the thing is. Hey, I want us to SMILE together! I hope we WILL.
It amazed me when I actually asked that person “nagkaon na ka?” LOL.
Of all questions, that was the only inquiry that popped on my mind and prompted me to talk to that person without all the eyes of the people surrounding us.
Well, that’s all for this day. TOODLES.
inalei
I am trying to make every millisecond as valuable as possible. I know by the end of this week, something is going to happen and I dunno whether it will surprise me or perhaps change the way the things are supposed to be.
Today, I have enjoyed things. After knowing my NCAE results telling me I’m more inclined to INVESTIGATIVE and ARTISTIC interests, I realized I am on the right track towards deciding the right course for me, the problem left now is on which school shall I entrust my learning ability and capacity and prepare myself for the battle that awaits after earning my degree.
Like, WOW. I really am going to college. And yea, it seems now that I was facing this direction way back my elementary years and as I turned around, I am now confronting a different world, world of maturity and saying byebyes to baby cries. Lol. Before, I wasn’t THAT bothered about my college life because I was thinking that I still have longer time to think about it, yet now, only a month is left and then I’d say HELLO UNIVERSITY LIFE. HELLO CITY LIFE. HELLO OLDER ME. HELLO INDEPENDENT ME. HAHAHA. =))
I knoooooow. It will take me time to really get used to it, but if you’d ask me now what I really want to do when I’m going to be few years older from now, that is to GO ABROAD- LIVE THERE with my mom and sister. Haha. And of course, I will HELP my cousins earn their degree too on prestigious schools.
Owwwww. What a NICE GOAL. I know. I must work hard to walk on the staircase and grab that success God has prepared for me. (Thanks a lot Lord!) and oh well, I won’t STOP writing and scribbling like blablabla and that even if people don’t ACTUALLY care what are the things that bother me at any point of my life, I would just like to have it published either on my own notes or online and then rereading it and eventually LAUGH on the things I have done and felt in a HYPERBOLIC way. ROFL.
Anyways, I haven’t really encountered too MUCH for this day, except that when I tried counting the days left for me before the DUE, I still landed on the same span. Like last week I was saying I only have 1 month and 18 days left, when I counted again few days after I still have 1 month and 18 days left and when I counted again how many days are there before the takeoff earlier this day, I still landed on the same span- 1 MONTH and 18 DAYS left.
Like oooh-ahh! HAHAHA. But of course, I super KNOW how to count. LOL.
And now I am on this point again, thinking about bringing and fixing things back before the week winds. As I have said, something not so good is going to happen and I am buckling myself on my seat to whatever the thing is. Hey, I want us to SMILE together! I hope we WILL.
It amazed me when I actually asked that person “nagkaon na ka?” LOL.
Of all questions, that was the only inquiry that popped on my mind and prompted me to talk to that person without all the eyes of the people surrounding us.
Well, that’s all for this day. TOODLES.
inalei
Monday, February 1, 2010
HOPE.
A glint of hope.
It’s the first of February and I’m counting the days left for me to be COMPLETELY happy of which COMPLETE happiness for me can be defined as being with YOU.
“We’re about to separate ways…”
I KNOW. It will never be EASY. I HATE GOODBYE when it’s you who say it.
I guess it’s NONE of my business anymore what other people would say or think about me; actually, I’ve been hearing SNIDE remarks from those folks I least expected to do so, from those people I once gained comfort and from the ones who told me NOT TO GIVE UP.
Well, what do I HAVE to say to them? “Get a life, will you?”
My LIFE is not YOUR life so before you TRY to tell me some super negative comments, please comprehend FIRST the real picture and what’s going on. And ooh, by the way OBSESSION means
Meaning #1: having or showing excessive or compulsive concern with something
Synonyms: haunted, preoccupied, taken up
Meaning #2: influenced or controlled by a powerful force such as a strong emotion
Synonym: possessed
Oh well, (*sighs). Why am I explaining and defending myself? They understand things BETTER. Even my own life and thoughts they know BETTER than I do. ROFL. Am I MAD? Of course not. Let’s just say that I am once again blablablabbing on what’s shouting inside. I mean, of course I definitely have NO PLANS to shout to them or should I say SCREAM to “HIM” BACK. LOL.
And by the way, have I mentioned that I LOATHE INTRUDERS, ROBBERS and everything sooo RUBBISH? Haha. If “they” have any plans of attacking ME, I’m SORRY but they’re challenging the WRONG person. Who says I’m CHICKEN? Huh! I’m NO COWARD. If it’s MINE then it’s MINE. Why do “they” have to be the ANTAGONISTS of the show? HAHAHAHA. ^^,
After figuring out that there’s still HOPE, I KNOW I just have to wait for GOOD things to happen. I don’t question you anymore, I TRUST YOU so and I know you got your plans now. It’s not the end of the show; I’m NOT LETTING GO. YOU and ME will be BACK to where we are SUPPOSED to.
Anyways, that’s the whirlpool of life. Complex it may sound but HEY, it’s REAL- and this REAL thing happens more OFTEN than we ever thought of it to do so. WEEKS from now, I’ll be tossing my HAT and hugging my DIPLOMA- farewell HIGH SCHOOL LIFE!
And though I’m looking forward for it, I KNOW it’s just half-heartedly felt.
I don’t like GOODBYES, because I know I’ll be saying BYEBYE to YOU and it’s AWFUL. LOL.
WHOA! I super duper thank GOD for these bunch of buddies for giving me EXTRA –comfy and lalalalalaaab. HAHA.
P.S. thanks to Min Ai for helping me hang loose and ease out the confused emotions. AGAY. Hahaha. :DD
P.S1 YOU know who YOU ARE: I HOPE we will be BACK. I care. HAHAHA. :P
TOODLES,
Inalei
It’s the first of February and I’m counting the days left for me to be COMPLETELY happy of which COMPLETE happiness for me can be defined as being with YOU.
“We’re about to separate ways…”
I KNOW. It will never be EASY. I HATE GOODBYE when it’s you who say it.
I guess it’s NONE of my business anymore what other people would say or think about me; actually, I’ve been hearing SNIDE remarks from those folks I least expected to do so, from those people I once gained comfort and from the ones who told me NOT TO GIVE UP.
Well, what do I HAVE to say to them? “Get a life, will you?”
My LIFE is not YOUR life so before you TRY to tell me some super negative comments, please comprehend FIRST the real picture and what’s going on. And ooh, by the way OBSESSION means
Meaning #1: having or showing excessive or compulsive concern with something
Synonyms: haunted, preoccupied, taken up
Meaning #2: influenced or controlled by a powerful force such as a strong emotion
Synonym: possessed
Oh well, (*sighs). Why am I explaining and defending myself? They understand things BETTER. Even my own life and thoughts they know BETTER than I do. ROFL. Am I MAD? Of course not. Let’s just say that I am once again blablablabbing on what’s shouting inside. I mean, of course I definitely have NO PLANS to shout to them or should I say SCREAM to “HIM” BACK. LOL.
And by the way, have I mentioned that I LOATHE INTRUDERS, ROBBERS and everything sooo RUBBISH? Haha. If “they” have any plans of attacking ME, I’m SORRY but they’re challenging the WRONG person. Who says I’m CHICKEN? Huh! I’m NO COWARD. If it’s MINE then it’s MINE. Why do “they” have to be the ANTAGONISTS of the show? HAHAHAHA. ^^,
After figuring out that there’s still HOPE, I KNOW I just have to wait for GOOD things to happen. I don’t question you anymore, I TRUST YOU so and I know you got your plans now. It’s not the end of the show; I’m NOT LETTING GO. YOU and ME will be BACK to where we are SUPPOSED to.
Anyways, that’s the whirlpool of life. Complex it may sound but HEY, it’s REAL- and this REAL thing happens more OFTEN than we ever thought of it to do so. WEEKS from now, I’ll be tossing my HAT and hugging my DIPLOMA- farewell HIGH SCHOOL LIFE!
And though I’m looking forward for it, I KNOW it’s just half-heartedly felt.
I don’t like GOODBYES, because I know I’ll be saying BYEBYE to YOU and it’s AWFUL. LOL.
WHOA! I super duper thank GOD for these bunch of buddies for giving me EXTRA –comfy and lalalalalaaab. HAHA.
P.S. thanks to Min Ai for helping me hang loose and ease out the confused emotions. AGAY. Hahaha. :DD
P.S1 YOU know who YOU ARE: I HOPE we will be BACK. I care. HAHAHA. :P
TOODLES,
Inalei
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