iNSANITY equals iNA.

okaaaaaaaaay. i am NOT okay.
PLEASE. i tried to say everything is okay now and that i am okay now.
but why does everything have to reveal to me at this moment and time?

it seems now that i am a punching bag being punched when i was already unprepared to be punched. PAIN is teasing me with his strategies- PAIN definitely knows my woes, worries and weaknesses.

but WHY?
yea, i SUPERRRRRR TRUST YOU, i do.
then i realized with the evidences that bit by bit opened my eyes to what's really GOING on and where is my place now in this small yet gigantic world, that i am the what you call INTRUDER.

i don't like to hurt other people but it's soo PAINFUL now to hurt myself a bit more, too.
i told you i trust you but why is it that time tells me it's TOO LATE now?
is it really too LATE?
am i nothing in your life now?
have i become the INTRUDER now?
can't i give you now the things i missed to give you before?

are YOU happier with HER?

please. tell me what's really going on. this is making me pathetic, crazy.
it doesn't matter now how many buckets have i filled with my bitter tears that at least make me feel better. PLEASE give me a sign if we'd still be back or if you want me NEVER.

" i never had a dream come true, until the day that i found you.."

it's TRUE. i have been launching trips for my quest for true friend and then you came on the most perfect time, unexpectedly showing me the very thing i've been searching for all this time.

"you're the missing piece i need.."

my life is an unsolved jigsaw puzzle. i know how jumbled my existence is, how i scatter everything. and then you came and help me solve them.
i can still recall those times i was about to give up, but you told me to rise and be bold enough.

and then i was.
would you leave me or what?
just please don't be mute now.
i know what you're feeling all this time, and i hope you know what i feel to.

i have to stop feeling this way because i know this will make you worry more.
i'm sorry. i just can't afford to lose you because a PART of me is ALWAYS with YOU.

inalei